Ladies and gentlemen, it was a good day.
The phone rang at home.
After a recorded message that alleged that computer activity at my location (not specified, naturally) would somehow be critically noted by Apple (with which I do not have any subscription relationship), a list of phone system choices were enumerated. I chose the "staff operator" option, hoping for further indications that it was a phony pitch. As I suspected, a live Indian voice alleging computer problems at my location began some lame but vaguely threatening story, so I loudly and rudely interrupted with:
Me: "Are you reporting virus activity?! If so, give me a type or a sub-type!!"
India guy: "Um, no, your..."
Me: "Is this a NETWORK ISSUE, a MOBILE ISSUE or a DESKTOP ISSUE?!"
India guy (attempting a more aggressive stance): "Um, no, Sir, this regards your Apple ID - "
Me: "DO YOU HAVE A TRACKING NUMBER? DO YOU HAVE A DISCOVERY DATE? WHAT ABOUT ANY O.S. VERSIONS?"
India guy, louder: "Sir, your Apple - "
Me, very loudly: "I DON'T HAVE AN APPLE ID, YOU IDIOT!!! (bellowing now) HOW IS THE VIRUS CLASSIFIED?!!!"
He mysteriously hung up. Most fun I've had in years.
Any systems analyst, devops management bigwig or network security professional would have been able to give some specific observation if there was really a problem, and would have done so confidently. Funny how that didn't happen.
Nobody calling you cold has any idea what computer activity is happening at your location. These are at best telemarketers, and at worst, criminals. Have a little fun with them!
